Absolute hysteria is just the beginning-you’re about to embark on an entire roller coaster of crazy-ass emotions. The rug has just been pulled out from beneath your feet, and everything you thought you knew with absolute certainty has vanished. It’s time to freak the fuck out, and that’s not just acceptable, it’s obligatory. It’s the God’s honest truth, and anyone who tells you otherwise is either completely blowing smoke up your ass, a lawyer, or my ex-husband. I’m here to tell you that if your husband, wife, boyfriend, or girlfriend is cheating, life, as you know it, is over. Really? Who are these people? I discovered that my husband of eight years was banging every short skirt-and wide back-in Hollywood after seeing it on the cover of a celebrity-gossip magazine, but I’m supposed to stay calm? I’m supposed to eat shit with a fork and a knife and say thank you when I’m done swallowing this crap?įuck off. Excerptĭrinking and Tweeting CHAPTER ONE If He Walks like a Duck and Talks like a Duck. Clear your schedule for an afternoon and grab your favorite cocktail, a comfy seat. You’re sure to enjoy every page of this funny, upbeat, honest tale. Sassy, raunchy, and compulsively readable, Drinking and Tweeting perfectly captures Brandi’s open-book attitude, as she dishes about everything from her DUI, her cheating ex, her one-night stands, and the secret plastic surgery that made her “seventeen” again. Today, the refreshingly filter-free housewife and unapologetic mom is the newest full-time cast member of Bravo’s juggernaut franchise, where she often elicits raised eyebrows and gossip from her costars for her refusal to be the scorned ex-wife, to be bullied, to change her sarcastic sense of humor, or-on most occasions-to wear a bra. Before she knew it, Brandi was the perfect Hollywood trophy wife-at least until her marriage exploded.
For the first time, Brandi talks about how she escaped a rough neighborhood on the outskirts of Sacramento and stumbled into a successful modeling career that swept her into a world of Paris Fashion Weeks, private jets, and uncircumcised penises. Not only does Brandi spill the beans about her side of the split, the lovable housewife shares the incredible wild ride that took her from a life in the ghetto to Hollywood’s most elite circles. So why should she change now? Brandi Glanville tells all in this hilarious, no-holds-barred memoir.įans have been waiting for Brandi’s scoop on one of the biggest divorces of the decade, since her husband of eight years abandoned her and their two sons to marry country singer LeAnn Rimes. She’s the brutally honest breath of fresh air on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, known for her dramatic divorce, her barely-there clothing, and her inability to keep her mouth shut.
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